Am I Still Waiting for this World to Stop Hateing?

I live in Europe, not America. You know how I know this? Because I'm invisible, or that's how some people would have it be.

I hadn't lifted in a while because the last time I was in there I went to lift a little and some Saudi Arabian boys got mad, stared me down, and left. This of course being because the thought of women trying to be stronger disgusts them. From then on if I saw a lot of boys in the gym I would just go back to my room and work out in the middle of the night when they were gone. Eventually I realized I'm just straight better then that. The German and American boys don't really seem to mind me and sometimes will try and help if they see I'm struggling. The middle eastern boys still stare like I'm an alien and I know when they are talking about me but I don't care.

In classes where I am the minority people will act like Americans are beneath them, especially the British, French, Middle Eastern, and Indian. If something we are studying has an ignorant context to it, someone always says that it probably mocking Americans. Or if something is poorly done, it is because it is American.

Apparently the execution of Saddam was mistake as well. Students here feel that Iraq needs a leader like him, and Americans are inconsiderate monsters because he was executed on a Muslim religious holiday. Also if I have something to say it doesn't matter, no one cares. I'm a woman, and I'm American.

The icon of a woman here is a quiet, depressed, weak individual. The icon of an American is the scape goat for the world's problems.

Its okay because American isn't the only hate country. Every country hates another county. Apparently France hates everyone. No one likes each other. No one says Hello. No one really respects on another.

The worst part is everyone just falls back in fear to fit the mold that these people project for them. People stick with who and what they know.

I went into the city by myself for the first time the other day. It was rush hour so I figured that there would be a lot of people out on the street and I'd be safer, but it was also starting to get dark. People, Places, and cars. That's all that existed. No one talks. I could hear the whispering pleas from the homeless from down the street, when I entered shops no one said anything, not even if I bought anything. I was so shocked at lack of commutation between people. I was standing in a crowd at crosswalk and the walking sign came on. Cars have a tendency to jump a yellow light (because it goes from red to yellow to green) and people are still crossing the street, people like me. A car was coming in the far lane and was not stopping because I guess the light turned yellow. Someone yelled, "Watch out" and everyone took off running to the island in the middle of the road. One guy behind me practically dived into the pavement in order to make it. No one even blinked. Eventually I asked if he was okay and he replied, "no worries, cheers" and a couple minutes later we all took off running across the rest of the street.

I went into Quiznos because the refactory was closed and when I sat down someone said something about stupid Americans voting for bush. Of course I turned around just to investigate who was making such a judgement. Then the two boys,from France maybe, asked why I voted for him. I said I didn't and they called me an apathetic American for not voting. I told them I wasn't even legal to vote at the last election, as if I had something to prove to these strangers. And they asked if I would have, and I said probably since I did not really agree with he other candidate.

Someone in class said Americans did no know anything about them because we didn't care about people from any other countries because we know nothing about geography or word history. Its funny because all I could thing was, you read the news from my country and study the history of my country and think you are able to make a judgement on the person I am. I care about you as a person regardless of what country you come from, or what language u speak, and I am willing to hear your opinions and beliefs... why can't you do the same?

Maybe I'll understand it all better by the time I leave, or at least understand some one.

A great person once said,

JOEY POTTER: I'd like to tell today's youth that uh -- no matter where life takes you -- big cities, small towns, you'll inevitably come across small minds. People who think that they're better than you are. I'd like to tell today's youth that these things matter, unless you have a strength of character, integrity, a sense of pride. And if you're lucky enough to have any of these things... don't ever sell them. Don't ever sell out. So when you meet a person for the first time, please don't judge them by their station in life, 'cause who knows... that person just might end up being your best friend.